Tuesday, March 6, 2018

What if 80's teen movies took place in 2018

80's movies are known for their cheesiness and tired-yet-lovable assortment of cliches, but what if those very same 80's movies took place in our times? Hey, Footloose got modern revamp, why not these other classics?

FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF


TEEN WOLF



PRETTY IN PINK


KARATE KID



Friday, December 9, 2016

Mind-Blowing Disney theories


I just saw Moana, and like everyone else, I fell in love with it. Disney is super cryptic with their movies, and we all know that. Making up Disney theories is a popular form of art on YouTube and forums, so here's my attempt at conjuring up a theory that will make you rethink your favorite Disney movies. Some of these are original theories, but who knows. Maybe

Zootopia takes place after human extinction



So, Zootopia is a world inhabited only by mammal animals, excluding humans. So, it's supposedly an alternate universe where humans never existed, but what if it didn't? What if Zootopia is a world that takes place after some sort of mysterious mass extinction that lead to the extinction of humans? My theory is that humans were wiped out from the face of the earth from unknown circumstances, the zoo animals and pets left behind found a way to escape their cages and started frolicking around city that their humans once occupied.



But instead of just staying wild, the animals actually started learning how to use human inventions, and it might seem impossible, but there are YouTube videos of cats, dogs and even lions learning how to open doors. What if they remembered what they learned from humans, and over the course of thousands and thousands of years, they learned more and more human traits until they finally reached the level of intelligence equal to or higher than Humans. This Idea was spawned after a 1930s animated short called Peace on Earth, and it's about animals becoming sentient and making a new peaceful society on the rubbles of humanity years after they went extinct. 

The Snow Queen has been watching Elsa this whole time!

Frozen 2: Eternity by Allycortes101

You know that conspiracy theory that Elsa is actually adopted, and not blood related to Anna and their dead parents? Well, this is THAT conspiracy on overdrive. So if Elsa isn't related to Anna, then who is she related to? Well, I have reasons to believe that Elsa is the offspring of ANOTHER Snow Queen! The H.C.S fairy tale Frozen was based on features an evil Snow Queen who kidnaps children and has control over Ice and Snow. Think the White Witch from The Chronicles of Narnia.  Most fans were pissed because Frozen barely resembled the original fairy tale, aside from having a Snow Queen and Trolls. But what if Frozen isn't an adaptation of The Snow Queen, but a sequel?

So, in the original H.C.S fairy tale, the central characters are best friends Kai & Gerda. Also in the story is the Snow Queen herself, along with some trolls, a prince and princess, a garden witch, some thieves, and a flying reindeer. In Frozen, two of the servants in the palace are called Kai and Gerda. If you remember, Kai is the servant who announces Elsa at the party. And in the end of Frozen, you see them Ice skating.



My theory is that after the end of the Snow Queen, when Gerda rescues Kai from the Snow Queen, they return to Kai's grandmother and eventually get married in adulthood. soon, they decide to live as servants with the prince and princess Gerda met in the original fairy tale, who are now king and queen of their kingdom(Arendelle) everything seems fine, but unfortunately for them, turns out the Snow Queen has been watching them this whole time, still plotting her revenge on Kai and Gerda. But her agenda quickly changes when she finds out the Queen of Erandelle is pregnant. She uses this as an opportunity to pass her magic down to an heir. One thing to note is that when Hans was about to kill Elsa, and then Anna jumps in the way before she completely turns into ice, the sword breaks. Now, last time I remember, Ice isn't vulnerable to swords, so how did Anna manage to protect Elsa from Hans? She doesn't! The Snow Queen breaks Hans' sword with her magic. The entire story of Frozen was essentially meticulously planned by the Snow Queen herself. She gave Elsa Ice powers to see if she could learn how to control and use it. If she learned how to, then she found her new successor, and let's leave the rest for the Sequel.

The Lion King & Robin Hood  are prequels to Zootopia

Image result for lion king zootopia same universe

So Disney theories are just that. Theories. which means that there can be multiple answers until one is proven true. So Theory A for Zootopia is the one listed above, in which Humans go extinct and animals take over where they left off Ala Peace on Earth. But Theory B connects to two other popular Disney Movies. The Lion King and Robin Hood. Remember how Judy explains that thousands of years ago, Animals were savage, an just ate each other willy nilly?  Well, let's say a thousand or two years pass by, and these animals start gaining their civility. They still walk on all fours and don't wear clothes, but they learned how to communicate and form governments. This is where The Lion King steps in. In the Pridelands, the animals are still animals. They either hunt or get hunted, but they learned how to communicate with each other and form a monarchy, in which Simba, formerly Mufasa and Scar, is the king. It's set in Africa, which is very similar to how humans evolved, since ALL of us began in Africa. The predators and prey animals can communicate with each other, and even form friendships, like Timon and Pumba did with Simba. So it got kind of weird and sort of Macabre that they'd even consider eating the prey animals, so they stopped eating the prey animals, and opted for non evolved things like fish or bugs, like what Simba ate for most of his life. Then a few thousand years pass by again, and this time, the animals are much more evolved, walking on only two of their legs, and have even started wearing clothes and inventing. they migrated out of Africa and started colonizing the entire globe. By this point, their society would look somewhat similar to our own medieval period. This is where Robin Hood takes place. Robin Hood is probably an ancestor of Nick Wilde, since they both look similar, and wear green, and the king is, once again, a lion. From then on, their timeline is very similar to our own. Fast forward to the present day, and now we have Zootopia.

Some things still don't add up though, like what happened to the birds and reptiles in Zootopia. They were in Lion King and Robin Hood, but not in Zootopia? 

Madame Mim was in Princess and the Frog

Image result for princess and the frog madam mim

After Navine and Tiana are turned into frogs and meet Louis the trumpet alligator in the bayou, he tells them of a powerful woman who lives there called Mama Odie, and agrees to take them to her. It isn't until they meet Ray the Cajun firefly that they learn they are actually going the wrong way. Why is that so? Was Louis just genuinely lost,or was he actually taking them to the wrong magical woman. That's right, instead of Mama Odie, Louis was actually thinking of Madame Mim, the elderly witch from The Sword and the Stone. If you recall, her and her enemy Merlin had about the same powers, one of them being the ability to time travel. So after Madame Mim lost her fight with Merlin, she travels to 1920s Louisiana and goes to live deep in the Bayou out of shame. Louis sees her doing magic, and assumes she is the fabled Mama Odie everyone in the swamps has been talking about. 

Snow White and the Mandela Effect

Image result for snow white mandela effect

This one isn't actually a theory about Snow White, it's a theory on it's own in which Snow White is a clue. The Mandela effect is the theory that states that somewhere in the 1980s, our world entered a wormhole, and we ended up in a parallel universe that was almost identical to ours, but not exactly. Little things were changed, but some people still remember it from how it was in the old universe. Like the Berentein Bears is actually called the Berenstain bears, Looney Toons was actually called Looney Tunes, and most famously, one Evil Queen's catchphrase was actually something else. I was born in 1997, so anything that happened before this supposed Mandela effect, I remember as what I knew it to be. Growing up, I watched Snow White, and always remembered that the Queen said "Magic Mirror on the Wall, Who is the fairest one of all." But surprisingly, a lot of older people don't remember it that way. They say that before the Mandela effect, the Queen would say "Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, who is fairest of them all." Which is what every snow white movies use now.

The Disney Princesses are about reincarnation

Image result for disney princesses evolution

Think about it. Most Disney Princesses have the same storyline, but when you come to think of it, most of them are from different time periods. Cinderella is obviously 1800s, Snow White takes place in the Renaissance,  Sleeping Beauty takes place in the dark ages, can it be the Disney Princes and Princesses are actually reincarnations of the same man and woman who have been soulmates for all time, and will continue to be as long as Disney keeps making Princess movies? I know it's kind of dumb when you think of it, but give it a chance. 

Big Hero 6 takes place in an alternate World War II universe

Image result for big hero 6 world war 2

Big Hero 6 is Disney's very first Superhero movie(Incredibles is Pixar, so suck it) and it's very first movie based on a Marvel comic. It follows the lives of young "Nerds" who decide to become superheroes, and is set in the fictional "San Fransokyo" but is it really fictional? Or is it something much darker? My theory is that Big Hero 6 takes place in an alternate universe in which Japan and , unfortunately, the Nazis won World War II. After they won the war, Japan decided to colonize San Francisco and formed San Fransokyo. "But Al." you say.  "If Hitler did win the war and took over the world, wouldn't things be a LOT more crappier,with Hitler being the most horrible thing to ever happen, right next to Satan and Osama Bin Laden." True. But what if this was a "Man in the High Castle" type of thing where they were in charge for a while, and it totally sucked, but then people started uprising, and eventually restored the world to order, because in Disney universes, good ALWAYS triumphs over evil. Eventually, everyone makes up, and they rebuild America together, and decide not to be assholes anymore.

The Disney Universe connection.

Image result for disney characters

Remember the Pixar theory? Where it says that every Pixar movie takes place in the same universe? Well this is the Disney theory, the theory that states that every Disney Movie is interconnected with one another. You know what, I'll make a post for that one itself some other time, since it's so damn big.

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Teen Wolf Poster


Teen Wolf is one of my favorite teen movies,partly because it's a Michael J. Fox movie(God bless Michael J. Fox) and partly because there's barely any teen movies made for boys, and when one does come around, it's usually crass and disgusting (American Pie, Porky's, etc.) but Teen Wolf, along with Ferris Beuller and others, are the exception. This poster basically re imagines what Teen Wolf would look like if  it came out in 2016. Scott doesn't really look any different, except now he has Bieber Hair, because 2016. Stiles would get a major redux, because a raging party boy then definitely doesn't look anything like a raging party boy now.

I watched some episodes of the TV show, and it's very reminiscent of Buffy, because it's a sexy teen action fantasy drama that was adapted from a classic teen movie. For the most part it's good, but the one thing I still can't stand is what they did to Stiles. In the show, he's Scott's dorky sidekick, but it's supposed to be the other way around. In the original, he's definitely the leader of the group. He danced on top of moving cars and could walk into a party and make it his. Basically, everything I wanted to be in High School. Why change that? I mean, sure, he slurred the "F" word once or twice and probably had a drug habit, but that Stiles was definitely no one's sidekick.

Monday, July 25, 2016

Harley Quinn (The Batman)


In honor of Suicide Squad, Harley Quinn from The Batman cartoon series. (My favorite version)